As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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