Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
