I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
