I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
