Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
