Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
