marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
