She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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