this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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