anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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