he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
