dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
