so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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