How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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