Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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