Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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