I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
my liver is dry heaving
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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