Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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