Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
