i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
