I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
