The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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