You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
