idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
