NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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