One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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