She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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