you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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