Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
