i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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