I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
love makes seman taste better
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
