just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize