He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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