i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
