Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize