Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize