I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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