I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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