opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Houston, we have a blender
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I FOUND THE LEGS
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
