I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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