Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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