ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
