plz talk dirty to me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
