Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
