At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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