I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
