So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
