He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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