Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
