How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
