ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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