Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
