shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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