i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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