I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
