He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
