How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
