Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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