You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize